Alone-With-My-Thoughts

As with most aspects in life, in Journaling I am either going full force or at a snails pace. I either can write for days on end or I struggle to write a paragraph each day.

I’m in a learning phase of life. I’m not longer raising children, I’m now raising me. I’m trying to find a balance in my wants and needs and trying to fit others into my life. I’m no longer in a fight or flight of life mode that I’ve been in as far back as I can remember.

I am however in a transitioning phase of life. One in which I feel I’ve neglected myself for such a long time that the transition to devote the remaining portion of my life to improving myself is extremely painful. I feel I am often neglecting those close to me however, noone is going to “find” me. That’s up to me to do.

One day I’m going full force into “fixing” me and the next day I’m back to eating junk food, sleeping too much and allowing negative thoughts to overtake my mind and spew out of my mouth.  Just for today, I’m going to acknowledge that there’s no need to “fix” me. I am a product of life. One day at a time, trying to be better, learn more, slow down, appreciate ALL things and give God the glory in it all.

Whether I’m going hard or hardly going, I’m still here to fulfill a plan. A purpose. A reason. Even if I don’t know what any of this leads to, I’ll keep pushing towards the unknown and wait with anticipation that the prize will be better than anything that I could imagine.